I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
