drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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