i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
