are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Randomize
