Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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