I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
