How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize