Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
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