he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Two words: blizzard sex
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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