Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
