Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
