Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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