So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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