me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
