She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
