Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
That's intense
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I just want nice things and good sex
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
