I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Randomize
