But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Randomize
