So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
