at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
