Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
