soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
