It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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