And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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