dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
