So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
soo... how was my night?
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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