Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
