I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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