so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
