do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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