I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
