Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
