i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
