I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
ttyl tear gas
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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