this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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