I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
