dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
