sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I still have a little drunk in my system
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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