; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
