Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
