Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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