either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
