Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
