Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize