How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I am midnight drunk by noon
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
