You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Who died my cat blue again?
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
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