Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
