Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Let's get the cat blown out
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
