You're so nebulous sometimes
Just cropdusted the office
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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