oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
meet me or not, i'm out of control
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
