I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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