What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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