I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
