He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
