I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
