I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
