well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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