3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
