So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Randomize
