apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
