I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
