You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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