I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
